Last Friday, I commuted to work for the first time since I moved to Manila. I decided to try taking a cab to gauge the traffic and distance. When I got in the taxi, I was greeted by a warm greeting and a big smile. I had no idea I was in for one of the most interesting cab rides of my life.

Cab Driver (CD): Where to, ma’am?

ME: Uh… Sa Salcedo Village, Makati po.

CD: Okay. Do we pass McKinley Hill?

ME: (Wow, I guess he wants to talk to me in English.) Um okay, sure.

CD: So where are you from? What’s your nationality?

ME: (Okay, another person who thinks I’m Middle Eastern or Indian.) I’m Filipina, actually. From Cebu.

CD: Noooo. I don’t believe you!

ME: Hahaha! Yeah, I get that a lot. My great-great-grandfather on my dad’s side was Spanish, so that’s probably why I look like this, but I’m as pinoy as they come, really!

CD: But you can speak and understand Filipino?

ME: Yup, I can.

CD: Okay, so you’re really Filipina to the core.

*At this point, I was surprised that he continued to speak to me in English even after I told him I could speak Tagalog. Most cab drivers usually exclaim, “Hay salamat maam! Dumudugo na ilong ko!” or something like that.

ME: You speak really good English. Where did you learn it?

CD: I used to work in Saudi Arabia.

ME: How long did you work there?

CD: My contract was supposed to be only for two years, but they extended it to three without telling me. I wouldn’t have minded so much to extend, but I was really angry that they did it behind my back. So when they gave me my vacation leave, I resigned and didn’t go back.

ME: What was your job in Saudi?

CD: I was an agent for a company, but I didn’t really like it there. Filipinos are not respected very much in those areas. I chose to be a taxi driver here for the schedule and I’m doing it for my girls.

ME: Oh you have daughters! How many?

CD: Three. Their mother is abroad, so I need to be there for them. In the taxi business, you work 24 hour duties every other day. It gives me more time to be at home.

ME: Cool! We’re also all girls in our family. I have three sisters. So where is your wife working?

CD: Ex-wife. She went to work in the Middle East, but she’s in Europe now. When I came back from Saudi, she said she wanted to try working abroad. I told her that she didn’t have to because I can still support the family. But she really insisted, saying the family could be more comfortable that way. So I gave her money for the trip and she left. A few months after, she called me and said she wouldn’t be coming back. I asked her if there was a problem and I said that I would be willing to work on it. Then she told me that she just needed to prove something to herself or something like that.

ME: Wow, it’s a little late to be feeling that way. If she felt that, why did she get married and have kids in the first place?

CD: That’s what I told her! Our youngest daughter was only one year old when this happened. She just kept saying sorry and she promised to pay me back for the money she borrowed from me, but I told her to keep the money. I was so angry. I couldn’t understand why this was happening to me. I loved her very much. She’s not even that pretty, but I loved her. I dedicated my life to her and the family. There were times my co-workers would go out for drinks, and yes, I would join them at times, but I would only stay for one or two drinks and go home. I never cheated on her. Everything seemed so unfair because I did everything I could to keep my family happy. I sank into depression after that.

ME: That really sucks. What happened then?

CD: Well, my mom came and took care of the kids. My ex mother-in-law tried offering money and supplies to my family. I think she was ashamed of what her daughter had done. But I didn’t take any of it. Good thing I was able to save a lot from my Saudi job because I stopped working and drank myself half to death for a year and a half. It was the most horrible time of my life. I just wanted to sleep it off, and when I couldn’t, I’d drink to make myself fall asleep. It’s a good thing the kids were with their lola and they didn’t have to see it. I tried moving on, but I just couldn’t. It was so difficult to accept.

ME: What you went through was pretty tough, but that’s a pretty long time to be depressed. I mean, you have to think about your kids.

CD: Eventually, I knew I had to get myself together. My daughters were counting on me. So I shaped up and got into the taxi business, and I’m really happy now. I don’t earn as much as I did in Saudi, but at least I’m with my family and I make just enough to provide for our needs.

ME: So they’re back with you now?

CD: Yes, I’m a full time father and mother. I do the market chores, cook meals when I’m not on duty and do their laundry.

ME: Why don’t your kids wash their clothes? That’s kind of a lot of chores to do and your daughters should share them too.

CD: Well, I only wash their uniforms because it has to be done everyday. They are tired from school and still need energy to study. I really just want them to concentrate on their studies during the weekdays. After dinner, I sit with them while they do their homework. It’s my responsibility to make sure they get a better future than I did.

ME: So it must be quite a handful to be raising three girls, huh? I don’t know how my dad did it and he had a wife to help him out. How is it for you?

CD: Oh you have no idea. I had to be the one to teach my eldest daughter how to use a napkin!

ME: *laughing hysterically* Oh my gosh, that must have been really interesting!

CD: Of course, I told her that she’d have to teach her younger siblings after that. I’ve been doing all the things mommies usually do. Have school costumes made, dressing them up, even putting on their makeup for their school presentations!

ME: That’s really amazing!

CD: But you know what? I don’t mind it at all. My children make me very proud and happy. And I’m also proud of myself for coming this far in raising them by myself. I don’t even care about finding a new wife because I’m very content with where I am now.

ME: Wait til your youngest girl graduates from college and see how you feel then.

CD: Hahaha, that’s true.

—

By this time, he was already pulling up to my destination and so I took out my wallet and paid him the cab fare. As I was getting out of the cab, he turns to me for the first time and offers his hand, “By the way, I’m Arnold.” Then he gave a sheepish look and said, “I’m sorry for talking so much, but thank you for listening to me.”

I shook his hand and smiled back, “Hi Arnold. My name is Ria. It was very nice meeting you.”

“Have a good day, Miss Ria!” Then he sped off to wherever.

Conversations like these are always an eye-opener. Sometimes we think our problems are so huge. While we’re sitting in our comfortable homes and working reasonably paying jobs that we may or may not like very much, we forget that we’re not even close to what the real Juan de la Cruz is going through.

Whether it’s true or exaggerated, I’m amazed with Arnold’s story. It’s always a nice surprise to meet a man who breaks the machismo stereotype that is very much common among men in this country. People like him deserve to have their stories heard.

I don’t think I will ever see Arnold again, but I hope he continues to be this happy. His daughters are lucky to have a father like him.